Weekend Update: U.S. Launches Attack on Iran; Supreme Leader Ali Khamenei Killed - SNL

This Weekend Update segment (0:02) with Colin Jost and Michael Che covers a range of current events with a satirical take.

Key topics include:

• U.S. Military Action in Iran (0:20-1:24): Discussion of President Trump's decision to launch a military strike against Iran, resulting in the alleged killing of Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei. The segment satirizes the sudden shift in foreign policy and the lack of congressional authorization.
• President Trump's State of the Union Address (1:30-1:48): A brief comedic commentary on the length of the address and a jab at Trump's claims of national improvement.
• US Women's Hockey Team & Trump (1:53-2:04): A quick joke about the team declining Trump's White House invitation.
• Prince Andrew & Royal Family (2:22-2:42): A humorous update on Prince Andrew's legal troubles and his potential ban from the throne.
• Hillary Clinton & Jeffrey Epstein (2:45-3:10): Satirical remarks on Hillary Clinton's testimony regarding Bill Clinton's knowledge of Jeffrey Epstein's crimes, along with a dark joke about Epstein's hidden photographs.
• New Nasal Spray Vaccine (3:19-3:31): A comedic take on a new vaccine, suggesting it would need a bizarre name to get approval from RFK Jr.
• Trump and Black History Month (3:34-3:49): The segment closes with Trump defending himself against racism accusations by listing his Black friends, leading to a humorous dig at Colin Jost.

Weekend Update: Picture of Stephen Hawking in Epstein Files Goes Viral - SNL

This Weekend Update segment (0:00-2:29) with anchors Colin Jost and Michael Che covers various news topics with a comedic spin:

• The death of an Olympic athlete known for the run, walk, run strategy (0:00-0:08).
• Paramount winning the bidding war for Warner Brothers Discovery after Netflix declined a new offer (0:17-0:28).
• A viral photo from the Epstein Files showing Stephen Hawking (0:31-1:14), followed by a segment where Colin Jost humorously defends Hawking's presence in the picture.
• A 70-year-old man discovering a heart issue via his smart mattress (1:25-1:35).
• National Small Dog Day (1:39-1:44).
• The last day of Black History Month (1:49-1:52).
• American Girl doll collectors being upset about skinnier modern-era dolls (2:02-2:13).
• Actress Amanda Seyfried revealing she used a prosthetic butthole for a movie scene (2:16-2:29).

Tourette’s - SNL

This Saturday Night Live sketch features various celebrities, including Mel Gibson, Jill Zarin, Armie Hammer, and others, humorously claiming to suffer from Tourette's syndrome as an excuse for their past controversial statements or actions.

Here's a breakdown of the key points:

• Mel Gibson (0:15-0:30) claims his past offensive remarks were due to Tourette's.
• Jill Zarin (0:34-1:00), a Real Housewife, attributes her "long-winded monologue style Tourette's" to a condition affecting "nine out of 10 people on Long Island."
• Armie Hammer (1:03-1:40) comically links Tourette's to cannibalistic urges, suggesting his controversial DMs were involuntary.
• A speaker (1:42-2:18) introduces "drink Tourette's" and "gender blindness" as conditions explaining inappropriate behavior.
• Another speaker (2:20-2:44) states that Tourette's can manifest as a "years-long obsession" with topics like "trans rights" and anger.
• The celebrities conclude by proudly admitting to having Tourette's (3:41-3:54), warning against discrimination (3:56-4:05), and jokingly threatening to "make Dumbledore straight." (4:04)

Mr. Fronzi - SNL

Things get dramatic when a teacher (Marcello Hernández) gives his students a math quiz.

Tutoring the Cool Kid - SNL

This Saturday Night Live sketch features Durkus (played by Ben Marshall), a high school nerd, tutoring PJ (played by Connor Storrie), a cool jock (0:02). PJ initially treats Durkus poorly, playing pranks on him (0:28), but after a successful tutoring session, he invites Durkus to sit with the cool kids at lunch (0:54).

Durkus then reveals a bizarre, unsettling song he wrote for PJ, expressing his gratitude (1:36-2:04). This causes PJ to immediately regret his invitation (2:27). However, Durkus' parents appear and explain that Durkus has a "long cold" and that PJ's friendship means a lot to them (3:03-3:23). Feeling guilty, PJ re-extends the lunch invitation (4:00).

The sketch concludes with Durkus' parents singing an even stranger song to PJ, expressing their love for him (4:25). PJ admits the family is weird (4:44) but then has a change of heart, deciding that being weird can be cool, and tells Durkus he will sit with him instead (5:06). PJ then sings his own bizarre thank-you song (5:25).

Connor Storrie Monologue - SNL

First time host Connor Storrie talks about how Heated Rivalry changed his life, learning how to play hockey for the show and what his childhood was like while growing up in Texas.

Trump Iran War Address Cold Open - SNL

President Trump (James Austin Johnson) and Sec. Hegseth (Colin Jost) speak after the United States launched a series of military strikes against Iran.

Leg Lengthening - SNL

The video (0:00-4:32) is a sketch comedy from Saturday Night Live where two friends, Griff (Connor Storrie) and Davis (Marcello Hernández), discuss Griff's recent trip to Turkey. Griff's friends notice he has become significantly taller (1:18-1:25), leading them to suspect he underwent leg-lengthening surgery.

Here's a breakdown of the sketch:

• The Big Reveal (0:52-1:00): Griff's friends immediately notice his increased height and confront him about getting leg-lengthening surgery in Turkey.
• Griff's Denial (1:00-2:00): Griff attempts to deflect and deny the surgery, claiming he just had a "growth spurt" or "tuberty" (2:02-2:13).
• The Truth Comes Out (2:59-3:02): After persistent questioning, Griff finally admits to having the leg-lengthening surgery.
• Davis's Sacrifice (3:05-3:20): Davis reveals that he donated his leg bones for Griff's surgery, believing it was a gesture of true friendship.
• Medical Misconception (3:27-3:32): Griff points out that leg-lengthening surgery uses rods, not bone donations, leaving Davis to realize his sacrifice was unnecessary.
• The Aftermath (3:48-4:00): Davis shares that there's an 80% chance his body will reject Griff's bones, but he remains optimistic and looks forward to hugging Griff when he's medically cleared to stand in 2029.

Car Song - SNL

This video is a Cut for Time sketch (0:00) from Saturday Night Live where two women, Jane Wickline and Veronika Slowikowska, get into an Uber after a night out (0:17). They struggle to open the car door due to an unfamiliar handle design (0:36-0:57), leading them to sing a song about how confusing new car door designs are (1:02-2:20). They express frustration with the constant changes, stating that old handles were perfectly fine and that new designs are like solving a puzzle (1:06-1:27).

The driver then reveals the reason behind the strange door designs (2:23). He explains that when he was a little boy, his jumpsuit got caught in a car door handle while he was trying to sneak out to check on his mother, who was a "door-to-door sales hooker" (2:31-3:14). This incident led to him being mocked and humiliated (3:15), and he vowed that car doors would humiliate everyone (3:20-3:28). The sketch ends with the women realizing the driver is insane and still struggling to open the door as the car drives away (3:29-3:40).

The Gentlemen’s Code - SNL

Two Victorian men (Connor Storrie, Mikey Day) settle a dispute with the help of the gentlemen's code.