The Sound Of Science: Bear Beer | Sextinction | Twice The Farts | Space Babies

In this segment of "The Sound of Science," Stephen Colbert shares unusual and humorous science news (0:20).

The topics covered include:

King Cobras on Trains (0:32): King cobras are hitchhiking on Indian railway networks, attracted by rodents on freight trains.

Bear Poop Beer (1:04): A brewery in Oregon has created a beer using bear poop, which has notes of huckleberry and honey, and "afternotes of toxoplasmosis and dumpster ham."

Ancient Vertebrates with Four Eyes (2:07): Biologists discovered that the world's oldest known vertebrates had two pairs of eyes.

"Sex-tinction" in America (2:21): A new study indicates that one in three men and one in five women in the U.S. have not had sex in the past year.

Twice as Much Farting (3:04): Researchers at the University of Maryland found that people fart twice as much as previously thought, using "smart underwear" to measure flatulence.

Man Launched Off a Truck (3:47): A science experiment shows a man being launched off a truck moving at 50 mph, effectively standing still due to relative motion.

No Space Babies Yet (4:47): Experts warn that humanity is not yet ready to make babies in space.

2,000-Year-Old Mummy with Back Pain (4:59): Scans of an ancient Egyptian mummy reveal that the individual suffered from back pain.

Fatter Polar Bears in Norway (5:24): Despite declining sea ice, polar bears in Norway's Svalbard archipelago have become fatter and healthier, humorously attributed to the opening of a Cheesecake Factory.

Epstein Crony Andrew Faces Consequences | Trump's A-List Peace Board | Did Obama Leak Alien Intel?

Stephen Colbert's monologue covers several current events with his characteristic satirical humor.

The key topics include:

Prince Andrew's arrest (0:50-1:46) in connection with the Epstein files, focusing on the charge of "misconduct in public office" and contrasting it with American legal standards.

Donald Trump's "Board of Peace" (1:48-6:02), which Colbert describes as a money-making scheme where a seat costs $1 billion and Trump is chairman for life. He highlights the questionable member countries and Trump's erratic behavior during the inaugural meeting, including his introduction of the President of Paraguay and his vision for the board overseeing the United Nations.

Obama's alleged alien intelligence leak (6:48-7:59) and Trump's reaction, where Trump accuses Obama of leaking classified information, which Colbert comically suggests confirms the existence of aliens.

Massive sewage spill in the Potomac River (8:08-9:20) in Washington D.C., with a humorous take on the local news coverage of the horrific smell.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups controversy (9:32-11:37), where the grandson of the inventor accuses Hershey of cutting corners and using cheaper ingredients, impacting the quality of the candy.

Jennifer Lopez being Karen & Jack's new Bestie | Will & Grace

This video showcases various comedic scenes featuring Jennifer Lopez on the TV show Will & Grace.

The compilation includes:

A chance encounter (0:26) where Karen meets Jennifer Lopez in a bathroom, revealing they know each other from a past tap dancing class in the Bronx, much to Karen's surprise.

Wedding performance preparations (2:00) where Jennifer Lopez needs backup dancers for Karen's wedding, and Jack steps in to fill one of the spots.

The wedding performance (5:25) where Jennifer Lopez performs "Waiting for Tonight" at Karen's wedding.

A subway ride and song pitch (10:13) where Jack and Karen try to get Jennifer Lopez to listen to a song Karen wrote, but Jennifer Lopez is engrossed in her book.

An acting job (12:35) where Jack lands a co-starring role on Shades of Blue with Jennifer Lopez, playing a corpse.

Hilarious takes and bloopers (13:28) from Jack's acting scenes where he struggles to remain a lifeless corpse.

Meanwhile... Fast-Casual Fatigue | Logan Paul's Pokémon Haul | Hidden Kissing Room | Ice Volcano

The video is a segment from "The Late Show with Stephen Colbert," featuring several "Meanwhile" news updates and comedic commentary.

Key points include:

Musical Guest Thundercat: Stephen Colbert welcomes musician Thundercat to the band (0:27-0:57).

State of the Union Live Show: Colbert announces the final live "Late Show" from the Ed Sullivan Theater for the State of the Union, jokingly struggling with his voice (1:03-1:32).

News Workshop & Hobo Sombrero of News: Colbert humorously describes his process for creating monologues and segments (1:58-2:28).

Dunkin' Donuts Menu Leak: A leaked Dunkin' Donuts spring menu, including a "banana protein latte," is discussed (2:49-3:08).

Tattoo Side Effect: Doctors warn of a rare sight-threatening condition that can lead to permanent blindness from tattoos (3:14-3:42).

Fast-Casual Fatigue: A study finds that 40% of fast-casual restaurant visits are due to fatigue, illustrated with a comedic anecdote about an Applebee's visit after a long day of shooting for "The Daily Show" (3:56-5:37).

Logan Paul's Pokémon Card: Controversial YouTuber Logan Paul's rare Pokémon card was auctioned for a record $16 million after he bought it for $5 million (5:42-6:00).

Grand Central Station's Kissing Room: New York couples are using Grand Central Station's hidden kissing room as a discreet alternative (6:18-6:30).

Pope Leo XIV Won't Join The Board Of Peace | Record Disapproval | The MAHA Workout | Monkey Update

Stephen Colbert's monologue covers a range of current events and humorous observations:

Ash Wednesday and Colbert's Voice (0:10-0:49): Stephen Colbert opens the show on Ash Wednesday, noting his hoarse voice and humorously comparing it to Kathleen Turner and Cookie Monster, attributing it to a cold and various medications.

Pope Leo XIV and Trump's Board of Peace (1:32-2:00): Colbert discusses Pope Leo XIV declining Trump's invitation to join a "Board of Peace," and jokes about Trump finding a replacement, the "FIFA Pope."

Tribute to Reverend Jesse Jackson (2:02-2:30): Colbert shares the sad news of Reverend Jesse Jackson's passing at age 84, highlighting his significant contributions to the civil rights movement and his historic presidential campaigns.

Trump's Black History Month Comments and Poll Numbers (2:32-5:50): The host critiques Trump's comments during a Black History Month event, where Trump bragged about knowing black people like Herschel Walker and Jim Brown. Colbert then presents poll numbers showing high percentages of Americans associate Trump with terms like "racist," "corrupt," "cruel," and "dangerous."

RFK Jr. and Kid Rock Workout Video (6:07-8:38): Colbert comically dissects a workout video featuring RFK Jr. and Kid Rock, making fun of their attire (especially RFK Jr.'s jeans) and the overall bizarre nature of the clip.

Monkey Update: Punch and Jungleskog (8:43-11:45): The segment concludes with a heartwarming and funny update on a six-month-old macaque named Punch, who, after being rejected by his mother, found solace in a stuffed IKEA orangutan named Jungleskog. Colbert humorously relates to the monkey's need for comfort and even brings out his own Jungleskog.

The Fire Horse Arrives | Optimism Hits A New Low | Epstein Pals Face Consequences | Erotic Poetry

Stephen Colbert's monologue (0:00-12:25) covers a variety of current events with a comedic spin, including:

Holiday Convergence (0:34-1:00): The show opens by highlighting the rare convergence of Lunar New Year, Mardi Gras, the beginning of Ramadan, and Lent, prompting Colbert to declare "Marty Gra Mandana Taco Tuesday."

Year of the Fire Horse (1:12-1:25): Colbert jokingly interprets the meaning of the "Year of the Fire Horse" for relationships, suggesting "more hockey players are going to bang."

Chinese Humanoid Robots (1:43-2:22): He reacts to a Chinese Spring Festival gala featuring humanoid robots, comically surrendering to them and offering to serve as a "bio-battery."

American Optimism and Trump's Approval (2:32-3:20): Colbert discusses a Gallup poll indicating record-low American optimism and President Trump's declining approval ratings.

Trump's Renaming Schemes (3:21-5:01): He satirizes Trump's alleged proposal to rename Washington Dulles International Airport and Penn Station after himself in exchange for infrastructure funding, offering a humorous counter-proposal.

Trump's Official Portrait (5:03-5:58): Colbert pokes fun at Trump's desire for a different official presidential portrait, including a preview of a speculative future portrait.

Epstein Files Fallout (5:59-8:10): He addresses Trump's "exonerated" claim regarding the Epstein files and contrasts the lack of consequences for Epstein's associates in America with the repercussions faced by public figures in the UK, such as Prince Andrew. He also highlights the retirement of Tom Pritzker from Hyatt Hotels due to his alleged connection to Epstein.

Kristi Noem Affair Allegations (8:11-10:15): Colbert humorously discusses the alleged affair between Kristi Noem and Corey Lewandowski, focusing on an incident where Lewandowski fired a pilot over Noem's blanket being left behind.

Eric Swalwell's Erotic Poetry (10:16-11:42): The segment concludes with a comedic reading and commentary on erotic poetry written by California gubernatorial candidate Eric Swalwell as a college student.

Bad Bunny Bowl Breakdown: The Politics & Powers over Puerto Rico

Josh Johnson humorously dissects the Super Bowl halftime show, particularly Bad Bunny's performance and the contrasting "halftime show" by Turning Point USA (27:12).

Johnson initially shares his schadenfreude at Trump's bad day, linking it to the Patriots' loss (4:08). He then transitions to Bad Bunny's Super Bowl performance, admitting his Spanish failed him but appreciating the deep cultural symbolism (9:55). The performance, set against sugarcane fields, subtly highlighted the historical abuse of labor and land in Puerto Rico under Spanish and US control (8:19). Bad Bunny's fall through a roof was seen as a powerful symbol of Puerto Rico's resilience after Hurricane Maria, representing the community's ability to carry on despite devastation (15:51).

Johnson praises the performance for showcasing the joy and beauty of Latin culture, rather than focusing on tragedy, which is often the narrative for minority groups on large stages (24:06). He argues that the lack of subtitles was deliberate, emphasizing that understanding a language isn't necessary to appreciate a culture's value (23:35).

He contrasts this with Turning Point USA's alternative halftime show, which was pre-taped over several days with a small, manipulated audience (33:00). Johnson comically misinterprets lyrics from their country song, highlighting the absurdity of its themes (28:42). He notes the irony that this show, which allegedly promoted American values, prolonged its broadcast to the point of forcing viewers to miss the actual Super Bowl (32:00).

Johnson concludes by reiterating the profound symbolism in Bad Bunny's performance, from climbing a light pole representing the community's efforts to restore power after Hurricane Maria (37:02), to Ricky Martin's song about Hawaii drawing parallels to the US government's colonization of both regions (40:01). Bad Bunny's message, "We are all America," encompassing all countries in North and South America, is seen as a powerful statement against the narrow definition of "America" often used by some (44:40). He concludes by pointing out the anger and racism behind the complaints about the Spanish performance, despite the universal appeal of music (47:16).

Kristi Noem: A Boss With Benefits | Obama's Alien Coverup | How Not To Eat Your Food

Stephen Colbert's monologue (0:00-12:08) covers a range of current events with his signature comedic take:

President's Day Rant (0:27-1:02): Colbert kicks off with a humorous take on President's Day, jokingly attributing its creation to a particle accelerator accident and listing the only presidents he believes it truly honors: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Grover T. Queen size.

Kristi Noem's Staff Drama (1:13-4:10): He discusses a Wall Street Journal exposé about Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem, highlighting her alleged jealousy of other Trump immigration officials and her rumored romantic relationship with top advisor Corey Lewandowski.

El Paso Airspace Shutdown (4:11-6:13): Colbert recounts the FAA's abrupt shutdown of airspace over El Paso, Texas, due to what turned out to be party balloons, not cartel drones, leading to comedic observations about the mix-up.

Obama's Alien Backtrack (6:31-8:00): He jokes about President Obama's podcast revelation about aliens being real, followed by his swift backtrack, suggesting a "big fat cover-up" related to "Space Jam 3."

HHS Website and AI Nutrition Advice (8:01-11:50): Colbert concludes with a segment on the new realfood.gov website from Health and Human Services, where an AI chatbot named Grok (Elon Musk's AI) gives questionable and explicit dietary advice, including recommendations for "acetarians" who prefer to insert food into their rectums.

ICE & DHS: Last Week Tonight with John Oliver (HBO)

John Oliver criticizes the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) and Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE), highlighting their controversial actions and the public's loss of trust (2:35). He discusses the origins of DHS after 9/11 (5:00) and how it became a massive, unwieldy agency (6:02).

Here’s a breakdown of the key points:

Public Outcry in Minnesota (0:04): Recent immigration raids and killings in Minnesota have sparked massive protests. The protests highlight the public's outrage over the treatment of immigrants and citizens alike (0:25).

Controversial Actions of ICE (1:34): ICE agents have been criticized for dragging a U.S. citizen out of his home and taking a 5-year-old into custody. Anti-ICE sentiment is widespread (1:46).

DHS Origins and Oversight Issues (5:00): Created after 9/11 to improve inter-agency communication, DHS consolidated 22 agencies. However, it faced immediate criticism for its hastily assembled structure and lack of clear oversight, answering to nearly 100 committees (7:14).

Misuse of Funds and Programs (8:18): DHS has been accused of wasting billions on surveillance equipment and Segway scooters for bomb squads, while its primary counterterrorism programs have shown little value (8:46).

Kristi Noem's Leadership at DHS (10:20): John Oliver criticizes the appointment of Kristi Noem as DHS head, citing her lack of experience and her self-promotional tactics as governor, which she continued at DHS (11:25). Her public appearances have been criticized as political theater (13:54).

Funding Surge for Immigration Enforcement (14:40): DHS's funding has doubled, with a significant portion allocated to ICE for immigration detention facilities and hiring thousands of new agents. ICE's budget now rivals Canada's entire armed forces (15:12).

Lowered Recruitment Standards for ICE (17:40): To meet recruitment goals, ICE has lowered standards, including waiving age requirements and shortening training, with many recruits failing basic physical and written exams (18:11).

Concerns over White Nationalist Dog Whistles (19:39): ICE recruiting ads have been accused of using imagery and phrases associated with white nationalist groups (19:46).

Reallocation of Resources (21:03): Resources are being pulled from critical DHS functions like the Homeland Security Investigations (HSI), cybersecurity (CISA), and FEMA to focus on immigration enforcement (21:51). This has led to a decrease in investigations into drug smuggling and human trafficking (23:28), and a hampering of disaster response efforts (24:40).

Call for Reform (28:22): John Oliver advocates for major concessions from DHS, including a repeal of ICE's additional funding, and ultimately, the abolition of ICE (28:49). He argues for a complete redesign of DHS and comprehensive immigration reform (29:10).

Stephen Colbert Teases Future Career Plans, Almost Injured an Audience Member with a Segway

In this video, Stephen Colbert and Seth Meyers discuss various aspects of their careers, shows, and personal experiences.

Here's a breakdown of the conversation:

Professionalism and Emmy Win (0:40-2:00): They start with a humorous exchange about seating etiquette on talk shows and a flashback to Colbert's previous appearance where he realized the importance of professionalism. Colbert shares his experience winning an Emmy, highlighting the staff's joy and the varying feelings associated with winning, losing, or not being nominated.

Strikeforce 5 Podcast & Charity Auction (3:00-6:20): The hosts discuss their camaraderie formed during the 2023 WGA strike through their "Strikeforce 5" podcast, which raised money for their staff. Colbert then talks about auctioning off items from The Late Show on eBay for World Central Kitchen, including a "stolen" U.S. Senate rug.

Segway Mishap & Office Mementos (6:25-7:20): Colbert recounts a humorous incident where he almost injured an audience member with a Segway, leading to a network ban. They also discuss the accumulation of gifted items in their offices.

Fan Mail & "Corrections" Segment (7:25-10:50): Meyers shares a funny anecdote about a wedding invitation sent to Colbert's PO box, leading to a discussion about Colbert's "Corrections" segment where fans point out his on-air mistakes.

Late Show Cancellation & Future Plans (10:55-15:00): Colbert addresses the cancellation of The Late Show, expressing sadness about leaving his colleagues and confirming the final show date as May 21, 2026. He then humorously teases his future career plans, neither confirming nor denying rumors about a Netflix deal, running for president, or writing a J.R.R. Tolkien book.

Dream Guest & Broadway Pitch (15:20-20:00): Colbert reveals his dream guest is the "American Pope," and they joke about past encounters with the Pope. Meyers pitches the idea of Colbert doing a Broadway show, specifically Oh, Mary.

Mutual Admiration (21:00-22:15): The conversation concludes with both hosts expressing mutual admiration and gratitude for their professional and personal relationship.