Stephen Colbert's monologue covers a range of current events and humorous observations:
Ash Wednesday and Colbert's Voice (0:10-0:49): Stephen Colbert opens the show on Ash Wednesday, noting his hoarse voice and humorously comparing it to Kathleen Turner and Cookie Monster, attributing it to a cold and various medications.
Pope Leo XIV and Trump's Board of Peace (1:32-2:00): Colbert discusses Pope Leo XIV declining Trump's invitation to join a "Board of Peace," and jokes about Trump finding a replacement, the "FIFA Pope."
Tribute to Reverend Jesse Jackson (2:02-2:30): Colbert shares the sad news of Reverend Jesse Jackson's passing at age 84, highlighting his significant contributions to the civil rights movement and his historic presidential campaigns.
Trump's Black History Month Comments and Poll Numbers (2:32-5:50): The host critiques Trump's comments during a Black History Month event, where Trump bragged about knowing black people like Herschel Walker and Jim Brown. Colbert then presents poll numbers showing high percentages of Americans associate Trump with terms like "racist," "corrupt," "cruel," and "dangerous."
RFK Jr. and Kid Rock Workout Video (6:07-8:38): Colbert comically dissects a workout video featuring RFK Jr. and Kid Rock, making fun of their attire (especially RFK Jr.'s jeans) and the overall bizarre nature of the clip.
Monkey Update: Punch and Jungleskog (8:43-11:45): The segment concludes with a heartwarming and funny update on a six-month-old macaque named Punch, who, after being rejected by his mother, found solace in a stuffed IKEA orangutan named Jungleskog. Colbert humorously relates to the monkey's need for comfort and even brings out his own Jungleskog.
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